Why do we do what we do?
It is so easy to believe that life happens to us rather than because of us. How we react to others, what they say or do. Can we see things through a different lens?
When you understand the 6 Human Needs Psychology, you see life differently. Meeting these needs will improve your emotional health and let your life unfold before you. There are 6 human needs, an idea developed through Tony Robbins and other life coaches and mental health professionals.
What are the Six Human Needs?
Certainty is the first of the 6 human needs. We all require certainty in our life; it is a fundamental requirement of life. Knowing there will be air to breath is a trigger for positive bodily sensations and good mental health. Things like I have air to breath, my house is standing, and the like. This is normal. Over the years, people have become more reliant on certainty in their lives. Certain that there will be produce on the shelves, we can travel, have freedom — these are all certainties that previously were not a given — we in society have come to expect them as a given and thus become reliant on them being a certainty in our life.
We make decisions in our life to meet our need for certainty. Nothing in life is certain. Today we have an increase in people requiring certainty in their life about work, food, health (especially during Covid). We all yearn for that certainty that all will be well. Certainty is an illusion.
That leads onto the 2nd Human need of Variety/uncertainty. This being the polar opposite of Certainty. We experience this to different degrees in different areas of our life. This may be in relationships, work, health, wellbeing, etc. If we could predict exactly how each day would run every minute (like Groundhog Day), we would become bored and frustrated with life, therefore Variety is important to keep us stimulated. We are required to become Certain of uncertainty in our life.
Tony Robbins quotes, "The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably live with."
If you become comfortable that things will constantly change as a certainty you will be more comfortable with life, even when something changes or during difficult times.
The third human need is for Significance. The need to make sense of your own identity, a sense of self, of being noticed, a sense of self-importance. When significance is driven from the point of knowing that you are doing a good thing, it is positive. But when significance is driven from the requirement of comparing yourself to others, your net worth; when you believe you require significance to have love/connection, this ends up being destructive.
The fourth human need is for Love/connection. Now there is a difference between love and connection. People can seek attention from others just to get connections. This is more superficial and does not meet the deeper needs of the human soul. When a person is seeking significance, they are wanting to be separate from others, therefore they are likely to settle for connection and not have love. Love comes from a deeper place and is accepting unconditionally.
These are the four needs of the personality or ego.
To live a fulfilling life, one needs to embrace the other two human needs of Growth and Contribution. In nature, all things grow and contribute, otherwise they become extinct.
Growth is about being the best person you can be by being open to learning new things, skills and emotional experience. Life is constantly changing so being open to growth allows us to become versatile and open, as we are not closed off in our thoughts or opinions.
Contribution is about how we can best serve others and the community; how we can assist others and help in the world. It does not have to be anything huge. When we help someone, there is always a feeling of wellbeing when the help we have given comes from a loving place for the good of the other.
What are the Four Categories of Behaviours?
Understanding the correlation between the six human needs and the four categories of behaviour will not only help you cope better with stressful situations and negative emotions but ultimately improve your quality of life. Also, if a memory, a past experience or other internal triggers would trigger a strong emotion, regardless of how you're feeling at the moment, knowing the four categories of behaviour by heart will steer you away from your current situation and into your desired direction.
- Class 1 – feels good, it is good for me, it serves other people and it contributes to the greater good
- Class 2 – doesn't feel good, it is good for us, it serves other people and it contributes to the greater good.
- Class 3 – Doesn't feel good, is not good for us, it doesn't serve other people and does not contribute to the greater good
- Class 4 – doesn't feel good, is not good for us, it doesn't serve other people and doesn't contribute to the greater good at ANY level (Crime, violence, anger, etc.).
Often, Class 2 is where we sit when we are learning a new skill and remain until we master the skill. Keep going, it is worth it.
Where do you sit? What resonates with yourself? I personally have found Certainty was a prime need of mine, which has kept me from stepping forward and embracing life to the fullest. I have had moments where I have thrown caution to the wind, and how much more I have enjoyed life. Grow from your experiences, contribute to others, laugh, have fun and do no harm.
Author and Trusted NTP practitioner |
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Christene LowethHouse of Oils |
Christene has been practising as a massage therapist since 1996, and as a life coach since 2010. |
