We exist, we change, we encounter difficulties, and we have to choose how we are going to navigate those difficulties. These are the underlying premises of existential counselling, a form of counselling that helps people to find meaning in a particular issue or circumstance – how they come to terms with it in a way that helps them become a more authentic human being.
An existential counsellor is more like a philosopher than a psychologist in the sense that his or her methods are based on philosophical ideas rather than psychological theories.
Freedom and Responsibility
These philosophical ideas encompass freedom, responsibility, love and death. During an existential counseling session the counsellor and client will enter into a dialogue about a particular circumstance in the client's life. The focus of this discussion will be on how the client experiences the difficulty or disturbance.
It may be that the difficulty makes the client feel isolated or anxious. They may be depressed because of a lack of meaning or purpose in their life, or they may be unable to come to terms with where they find themselves at a particular time.
The dialogue between the counsellor and client will involve exploring the client's values, beliefs and attitudes in order to clarify and in some cases challenge certain aspects of it. This dialogue allows the client to articulate and better understand the way they live in the world, including what stops them from having the life they want and need in order to flourish.
Exploring What it Means to Live a Good Life
There are four main areas that the counsellor and client will explore in existential counselling. These include physical health, social life, intimate life and spirituality. If one or more of these areas are out of kilter or undeveloped, the counsellor will help the client reflect on the difficulties in this particular aspect of life.
In entering into the client's frame of reference, the counsellor keeps an open mind while challenging the client to more fully articulate the assumptions that underlie his or her beliefs.
For example a woman who is experiencing difficulties in her intimate relationship might explore her beliefs around love. It may be that her beliefs about what a relationship should look like need to be explored. It might be that her expectations are based on cultural ideals or values that are not her own, or which differ from her partner's values.
By exploring what the client really wants, rather than what is thinks she should want, the client can become more self aware and use this self awareness to more clearly see the way forward. In this way existential counselling can help the client to be more self-determining.
It takes courage to explore life and to face up to difficulties but the rewards are a richer and more meaningful life, a greater sense of purpose and a commitment to living authentically, according to one's own values and beliefs.
Who Might Benefit From Existential Counselling?
Existential counselling is not for everyone, especially those people who want or need the counsellor to give advice or point the way forward. The skill of the counsellor is in helping the client achieve clarity by reflecting on their beliefs and values rather than in telling them what to believe or what to do.
By approaching things in this way clients learn to take responsibility for their choices and decisions. This empowers the client and provides a supportive framework for developing their autonomy and courage to live according to their values and beliefs.
Existential counsellors can also help by pointing out personal strengths the client may not be fully aware of. He or she may also help the client identify weaknesses or limitations he or she may be either unwilling to look at or acknowledge.
Existential Counselling Can Be Challenging
Counsellors may have to challenge certain assumptions or beliefs that may not be helping the client, so it is helpful if the client is open minded and willing to embrace change. It is also helpful if they are willing to reflect on their life from a philosophical perspective.
People facing major changes or crises in their life such as a terminal illness or the breakup of a marriage, for example, may benefit from this approach because it looks deeply into the meaning of life and death and all the stuff in between.
Originally published on Nov 07, 2011
