Psychotherapists frequently deal with people who feel like they are failures. What do you say to someone who feels defeated by failure? One of the first things a counsellor often does is tell their client to "embrace failure." What? How can embracing it turn failure into success? Really, it's all in the way you view "failure".
What Some of the World's Greatest Successes Say about Failure
No one knows failure better than someone who has finally found success. These are a few of the things some of the world's greatest achievers have had to say about their successes:
- Sir Winston Churchill guided England through its darkest days in World War II. How did he do it and emerge victorious? In his words: "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
- Michael Jordan has been heralded as one of the greatest athletes of the twentieth century. Jordan, who didn't make his high school basketball team, attributes his success to his failures: "I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
- Henry Ford revolutionised the manufacturing industry and was one of the most successful people the world has ever known. His secret? Failure: "Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely."
- Thomas Edison was one of the world's most successful inventors. How did he do it? By failing. As he said:"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
A common thread runs throughout all of these "failure" stories: successful people learn from their mistakes and are inspired to try again and again until they get it right. When they look back on their lives, they understand that success is not possible without failure. As Benjamin Disraeli wrote: "All my successes have been built on my failures."
Turning Failure Into Success
If you're feeling like a failure, reading quotes like the above can help make you realise you're in good company. It can also help you establish the right attitude towards failure and use it as a springboard towards success. However, a little practical advice doesn't hurt, either. These are some of the suggestions offered by psychologists and personal development gurus:
- Failure is part of the learning process: Just as Thomas Edison first "found 10,000 ways that didn't work," each failure can take you a little closer to
- Set realistic goals for yourself: Having personal aspirations is admirable, but you can't reach a goal without taking the steps necessary to reach it. Those daily steps towards a goal are just as important as the goal itself. A life coach may be able to help you with goal setting when you feel like you "can't see the forest for the trees."
- Take time to relax: Always pushing yourself can lead to burnout and even make you repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Regular meditation or time spent in a relaxing environment can recharge your batteries and allow you to look at things from a different perspective. Scientists often say their "Eureka!" moments came to them when they were away from the lab.
- Brainstorm with others: Another way to get a new perspective on your goals is to brainstorm ideas with others. Brainstorming is a tried and true technique that involves expressing ideas without filtering them. It's a great way to get out of a rut.
- Turn lemons into lemonade: Sometimes, failure occurs as a result of forces completely out of our control. You've been working your way up the ladder at work and the company goes bankrupt. A downturn in the economy makes it impossible to sell your investment property. Any number of things can go wrong in life. Failure can be just the opportunity you need to explore other avenues of success.
Remember, too, that true success has much less to do with worldly achievements than it has to do with how you feel inside. As Confucius said: "Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail." Take pride in failure: it means you've never stopped trying.
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