Being present and available for our children helps them with their intellectual growth, emotional intelligence and creativity, and most of all ensures that they feel loved. We are present for our children because we want to do the best by them. We also enjoy being with our children, the pleasure of their company (not always), fun times together, sense of togetherness from being part of a family.
Children open up new horizons in our lives. These opportunities for us to grow may come as a result of our children challenging us. They may challenge us to participate with them in a new activity or adventure or to do things their way. There is much we can learn and experience if we are open to influence from our children – new skills like canoeing, because they want to go, new friendships as we meet the parents of their friends, new ways of experiencing the world. We just need to put in the time to listen to what they suggest and to do these new things.
Children challenge us with their behaviours to get something they want or with their moods if they don’t get what they want. We can feel closed down at these uncomfortable times with these uncomfortable emotions and try to manage them by telling our children to behave better or stop the back chat. Or we can be open and available at these times to our children, find out what is really driving the behaviour or mood, respond to the problem rather than trying to close down the behaviour. Then our presence and care will keep our children safe and will give us opportunities to grow in our own emotional intelligence.
