Like many people, I was bullied as a child. Throughout primary school I was relentlessly taunted and teased. Until recently, thinking back to those days would cause my eyes to sting with tears. However, I've since learned how to let go of those feelings and leave them in the past. If you're holding on to things and finding it hard to let go, you might like to consider these tips.
Why Do We Hold On?
There may be many reasons why people hold on to past hurts and perceived "failures". Some say it's because our problems become a part of who we are. Others say that reliving our past helps avoid stepping into an uncertain future.
Why Should We Let Go?
I love this quote by Thai meditation master Ajahn Chah: "If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace."
When we bottle up our emotions and let our worries and regrets replay in our minds, we fuel our fear. It's like a toy being wound up and up and up, until it's so tight that the only way for it to get release is to dart around in circles.
By learning to let go, we give our mind, body and soul the peace to progress. The anxiety starts to glide away and we find renewed optimism. Only then can we live the life we deserve to have!
Tips for Letting Go
Letting go isn't always easy. We can be so afraid to discard our problems that we end up taking no action and becoming like that wind-up toy.
Of course, the only way to let go and move on in life is to start! So here are our top tips for letting go:
- Find a new hobby: Sign up for a class at your local community college or join an amateur sports team. By focusing your mind on learning a new skill, you'll be less inclined to think about the things you haven't yet achieved.
- Meditate: Meditation can be a wonderful release from our thought patterns. There are many free and inexpensive meditation courses that teach you basic meditation techniques to help you let go and live.
- Focus on your achievements: Write (or draw) a list of all the things you've accomplished in your life. Have you created a happy and healthy family? Are you a good swimmer? Did you pay off your mortgage? Focus more on the things you have achieved, and not the things you haven't.
- Talk about it: A counsellor or life coach can help you let go of past behaviours, thoughts and experiences and take a giant step forward.
- Help someone: It's amazing how good you feel after helping someone else. Volunteering for a charity or helping a neighbour or friend takes the focus off you and helps puts things in perspective.
Remember that while we can't change the past, we can change how we feel about it. It's time to let go and start living!
Originally published on Feb 15, 2013
