One thing all of us have in common is an instinctive desire to be happy. We all understand that a positive attitude towards life is an integral part of happiness and well being. Experience, though, sometimes makes maintaining a positive attitude difficult. Should you just give up and resign yourself to the "fact" that sometimes circumstances warrant a positive attitude and sometimes they don't? Should you focus your energies on making more money, renovating your house or doing something else that you think will make you happier or is there a better way? Surprisingly, developing a positive attitude and experiencing greater happiness have less to do with outward circumstances than with the little things that come from within.
1. Develop an attitude of gratitude
When you've just suffered a set-back in life or are wallowing in despair, this can be difficult to achieve, but is "doable". Even if you have to fake it, think of at least three things to be grateful for. "I am grateful to be alive," for example, can lead to "I am grateful for the opportunity to look for another opportunity" and "I am grateful that I have the inner resources to move on with my life." It should be obvious that thoughts like these are a lot more positive and life affirming than, "I wish I was dead."
2. Develop a generous attitude
We live in a selfish society that teaches us that happiness can be found in the pursuit of selfish ends. Sentiments like, "It is better to give than receive" are regarded as religious platitudes. Modern brain scans have taken a look at generosity and discovered that acts of generosity such as donating money to charity actually trigger the same pleasure/reward centres in the brain that food and sex do.
3. Develop a kind attitude
Kindness often benefits the giver more than the receiver. In a "fun versus philanthropy" study conducted by Dr. Martin Seligman, one of the founders of the Positive Psychology movement, study participants were divided into two groups. One group engaged in pleasurable activities like going to a movie and eating ice cream. The second group went out and engaged in philanthropic activities such as volunteering to work in a soup kitchen. Those who performed the philanthropic activities reported a greater and longer lasting feeling of happiness than those who enjoyed the fleeting pleasures of a movie or an ice cream.
4. Develop an attitude of forgiveness
It is well-established that feelings of resentment, jealousy and anger can lead to serious physical and emotional problems. More recently, science has discovered that conscious forgiveness can be an effective antidote to negative emotions. Moreover, forgiveness can lead to the fifth attitude that contributes to an overall positive attitude: compassion.
5. Develop an attitude of compassion
Using sophisticated brain imaging technology, neurologists discovered that when new mothers looked at photos of their children, centres of the brain associated positive emotions were activated. Other studies have shown that Tibetan Buddhists who regularly practice "loving kindness" meditation show similar brain activity. This led researchers to conclude that compassion, which is innate in mothers, can be cultivated in anyone and lead to the same beneficial emotions.
How can it be that attitudes usually associated with selflessness can be responsible for developing a positive attitude about life in general? Psychologists suggest that one reason may be that we are social animals that cannot thrive in a void of selfish behaviour. We are "hard-wired" to share because this gives our species the best chance for survival. They also note that these "selfless" attitudes should be selfishly applied as well. We're all going to have bad days, get into bad moods and feel like life is a struggle from time to time. Forgiving ourselves and showing compassion towards ourselves when things go wrong is the quickest way to restore a positive attitude and find positive solutions to whatever life throws our way.
Originally published on Sep 04, 2012
