A lot of the stress we experience in life is not caused by what is happening, but by the way we react to what is happening. Our negative thinking patterns can significantly affect how we feel. All those little thoughts that float through our minds every day, the ones we consider to be trivial, they all matter. Negative thinking can hold us back and distract us from our goals. All those everyday irritations and anxieties, when they start to become persistent and intense, they can cause stress.
For example, you might be driving to work and start thinking about the bills you have to pay this month or what the boss is going to say at the morning meeting, or any number of things.
Without you realising it, these thoughts will most likely be triggering responses in your body that stimulate the release of chemicals associated with the flight or fight response.
Before you know it, you are gripping the steering wheel, and the muscles around your shoulders and neck are tightening. When you’re stressed out, the following happens:
- Blood pressure rises
- Breathing becomes difficult
- Heart rate increases
- Blood is directed away from the extremities and to the major muscle groups
- Digestive problems set in
- Symptoms of anxiety disorders and depression manifest
These problems begin when we remain in a stressed out state for long periods of time, whether at work, at home, in social situations, or other.
Source: Robert Wood Johnson Foundation
Thoughts Can Trigger Stress
Because our minds and bodies are connected, our state of mind can influence how we feel, and how we feel can influence how we think during stressful situations. For example, if we start worrying about the stress we are feeling, we get more stressed. We can get anxious about feeling anxious. It can become a vicious cycle.
If our thoughts aren't particularly helpful, or if they are causing us unnecessary suffering and/or stress, we need to be able to disengage from them. If we ruminate over a problem or worry about what the future might bring, we are causing ourselves more suffering.
This is what Buddhists call "shooting the arrow twice".
For example, if you have a situation that you are worried about, or are experiencing unhappiness (the first arrow) reflect on how you are responding. In some situations there is not a lot we can do to change things, either the damage has been done or the situation is out of our control.
If we start blaming ourselves or if we let resentment and bitterness build up, we are causing ourselves more suffering (the second arrow).
Constant stress from unhealthy thinking styles will have an adverse effect on your health. It has been linked to weight gain, digestive problems, high blood pressure, heart disease and a whole range of other health conditions. Negative thought patterns can also contribute to mental health conditions like depression, bipolar disorder, paranoia, or make anxiety worse if you already have it.
Shifting Negative Thought Patterns
For you to switch gears and start developing positive thinking, the first step is to identify how your thoughts affect your feelings. This may require some self reflection or journaling about how you feel moment to moment throughout the day. To take this time to journal how your negative thoughts make you feel can be very helpful in recognising how they affect how you think and how to combat it.
Having a positive support system is also important in changing our perspective of a stressful event, such as friends and family who provide guidance when needed, or a qualified mental health professional who can equip you with the tools needed to improve your stress response.
What truly helps with changing our thinking patterns is focussing on why you want to change how you think about things. Sometimes just shaking up what our routine looks like by trying something new or taking on a new activity really makes us rethink how we approach situations every day. The following are tips for shifting negative thinking patterns to positive, helpful ones.
Becoming Mindful of Thoughts
Mindfulness meditation teaches us to observe our thoughts, and to regard them as just thoughts. They are not necessarily true or false - but they can be a ‘second arrow', so we are mindful of them.
They can also take us away from the present moment. We may be in a beautiful garden, but if we are worried about the past or anxious about the future, we are not really aware of all the beauty around us.
If we allow ourselves to disengage from thinking for a while and experience the smells, the sounds and the sights all around us, we can become more calm and relaxed. When we are more relaxed, we are more able to think clearly.
Learning to Disengage From Unhelpful Thoughts
Learning to disengage from unhelpful thoughts is practised first in meditation, then in daily life. Beginning meditators are advised to learn to sit quietly, focussing only on their breath and bodily sensations before observing their thoughts.
If random thoughts come up, let them pass but don't engage with them. Let them go by like clouds across the sky – just mental states floating by, coming and going. We can always go back to these thoughts when the meditation is finished.
Learning to disengage from non-stressful thoughts in meditation helps us become more skillful at disengaging from more problematic ones when they arise.
Mindfulness of thoughts can be practised in everyday life, while doing the dishes, washing the car or having a cup of tea. The key is to observe when your mind has wandered, acknowledge what you were thinking about, and then gently bring it back to what you were doing when it wandered off. The more you do this, the better you get at being able to keep your attention from wandering off with thoughts, and the more present you can be with whatever is going on at the moment.
When you do need to think about a problem or if you can't let go of worry, set aside some worry time and then pay attention to the worrying thoughts only during this time. Writing down your worries can also help get them out of your head.
Originally published on Nov 15, 2011
